These female rabbis have thoughts on how their profession – and Jewish culture – is portrayed on ‘Nobody Wants This’
By Dan Heching and Alli Rosenbloom, CNN
(CNN) — While it’s nothing new for Netflix to capture the zeitgeist with an original series, the vibe of “Nobody Wants This” – a sweet and firmly hipster Los Angeles-based rom-com – is far from the genre trappings of spooky titles like “Squid Game” and “Stranger Things.”
The discourse around this hit series, starring Adam Brody and Kristen Bell as a new couple navigating friends, family and religion, has been swift and ubiquitous though, with people sharing their perspectives on the show’s depictions of Jewish women, conversion and “shiksas.”
A brief catchup, in case you somehow have missed the (currently) no. 1 show on the streamer (which also just this week was confirmed to be getting a second season) – Bell plays Joanne, a sex-forward podcaster of no particular religious affiliation who falls for Brody’s Noah, a “hot rabbi” (the show’s words) who is a major figure at his progressive congregation and comes from something of a traditional Jewish family. The pair’s undeniable chemistry soon causes friction in their respective circles, which include Joanne’s acerbic sister Morgan (Justine Lupe) and Noah’s brother Sasha (Timothy Simons), sister-in-law Esther (Jackie Tohn) – who is still besties with Noah’s heartbroken ex – and mother Bina (Tovah Feldshuh).
In the pilot episode, Joanne decides to visit Noah at his temple, where he is inundated with congregants who hound him with questions and requests to set him up their daughters now that he is no longer dating his ex Rebecca (Emily Arlook). The very last moment sees various onlookers at the synagogue – including veteran actor Feldshuh – looking agog as Noah greets Joanne warmly. When Esther asks Feldshuh’s Bina who her son is talking to, she simply replies, “A shiksa” (a somewhat derogatory term for a non-Jewish woman, especially in a relationship with a Jewish partner), which closes the show.
That moment, along with others, prompted reaction about how certain Jewish themes and tropes were handled in the series. For Rabbi Amanda Greene, a senior rabbi at the reform Chicago Sinai congregation in Chicago, some of it – even the parts that may have seemed somewhat extreme – rang rather true.
“There’s a word ‘yenta’ out there, right?” Greene said, laughing, during a recent interview with CNN. “Is that the best of who we are? Maybe not. But is that a reality of who some of us are? Maybe.”
She also reminded that it’s just a TV show made for entertainment.
“I would imagine the same is true if you were to interview people from ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding,’ right? That is sort of over-exaggerating the personalities.”
And while Rabbi Adina Allen, a nondenominational rabbi who started the non-profit Jewish Studio Project, acknowledged some of the Jewish female characters in the comedy were depicted “as manipulative, controlling, harsh, cliquey,” she observed that they weren’t the only ones cast in a sometimes not-so-flattering light.
“Honestly, the non-Jewish women don’t come out looking so good either,” she said. “The show seems to portray them as vapid, un-focused, self-centered and shallow. And, at the same time, I liked all of the women. For instance, Esther, the epitome of the Jewish woman stereotype, is controlling and mean, but she’s also loyal and loving.”
Rabbi Greene also pointed out that not all the depictions of Jewish women were immediately demeaning or cartoonish.
“The female rabbi at the camp, I think she’s great. I think that’s a good depiction. She embraces Joanne. She’s an interesting character,” she shared, in reference to a hilarious later episode in the season when Noah introduces Joanne to a fellow rabbi, played charmingly by Leslie Grossman.
“Maybe that’s what’s so great about the show, there’s so many interesting characters,” Greene added, going on to defend the character of Esther “because she’s meant to be hated but also, if your best friend was the ex-fiancé… She’s (Esther) human, too!”
Other moments felt quite authentic to both real-life rabbis, which they said felt refreshing.
“When I first started at Sinai, there were lots of people who wanted to set me up,” Greene said. “There is some truth in that the congregation wants to know what’s going on in the personal life of the rabbi,” she added.
Rabbi Allen said the show “got right how invasive it can feel, especially to be a pulpit rabbi, and especially a young, single pulpit rabbi (from what I know from my friends’ experiences),” adding, “in the synagogue scene when all the women are crowding around him to introduce their daughters, that felt real.”
Both Allen and Greene viewed Brody’s Noah as a relatable character on a spiritual path, as opposed to a sanctimonious figurehead or any other number of preconceived portraits of what a rabbi might be like.
“He was a person, a person at a bar (or party) who maybe didn’t look like the rabbi that Joanne thought a rabbi should look like,” Greene said. “Rabbis look like people. We are people, we’re humans and I think sometimes people assume or expect a rabbi to look a certain way, to behave a certain way, to only talk about Torah, to only keep Kosher, to only wear a kippah everywhere, to only wear a tallit (prayer shawl), to only whatever the ‘only’ may be, but we are human beings and I appreciated that level of depiction of the rabbi.”
A scene later in the series in which Noah makes Shabbat at a bar is something Greene related to as well, having experienced something similar herself. “When I first moved to Chicago I was trying to do Shabbat at a bar for young professionals,” she recalled.
“Noah is cool,” Allen observed. “(He) lives in the world, goes to parties, is funny, has fashionable clothes (minus the basketball gear), plays sports, has friends and a social life. All that felt really good to see portrayed on TV.”
As the first season of “Nobody Wants This” continues, Noah and Joanne imagine a possible future together. It quickly becomes clear, as stated in the show, that if Noah were ever to become head rabbi of his congregation, it would prove problematic for him to have a non-Jewish partner. Which brings up the prospect of conversion for Joanne, something she is seen grappling with at the season’s conclusion. Noah, for his part, is grappling as well, at the prospect of having to choose between advancing in his rabbinical career or pursuing a deeper commitment to Joanne, even if she isn’t willing to convert.
Rabbi Greene had conflicting feelings about the ending, and is hopeful that Noah’s oversimplified choice is just a set-up for the continuation of the story in the next season.
“I loved the show, I hated the ending. I think it’s a false dichotomy,” she said. “My hope is that season two is going to unfold in a different way and he’s not going to have to choose personal versus professional.”
“Of course, there are times that you have to choose things like that but I prefer the both/and so my prediction, and maybe it’s just a hope, is that in season two he’ll be able to somehow navigate both… Maybe it’s just that cliffhanger for the next season.”
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