Popular local DJ opens up about suicide attempts

EL PASO, Texas (KVIA) -- Most people are shocked to hear the news. The outgoing, funny guy they listen to on the radio each morning has had some really dark times. He even tried to end his life multiple times.

Fernando Montejano, or "Grizz," is half of the popular Iris & Grizz morning DJ duo. He had a rough start in life. His troubles started when he was only five.

"It's tough to talk about but that's what we're here for.  My mom had a lot of problems growing up.  She was an alcoholic and went to jail very young in my life...my dad had to come get me," Grizz says.

With his mother in and out of jail, he struggled.

"I was away from my sisters and they were my support system.  We'd been through the same things and dealt with sexual abuses and being exposed to the drug life. I was angry, sad, but I didn't know why I felt what I was feeling in side.  

He turned to drugs, alcohol, and eventually suicide.

"The first attempt unfortunately when I was 12 years old. I had about four suicide attempts as a kid before I turned 18.

His traditional Midwest family didn't believe in mental health treatment. But after a pretty public suicide attempt, a friend intervened. It was Grizz's first time in a mental health facility.

"When I stayed at the facility I was surrounded by people who had experienced similar things.  It was almost like being understood for the first time.  They'd say 'you're hurting. This isn't normal - you need to fix this,'" Grizz says.

When Grizz turned 18 and moved out of the house, he began seeking out therapy. Money was tight, but he'd go to clinics that offered a sliding fee, sometimes paying just five dollars a session.

Then, Grizz was rocked by tragedy. A long-term relationship ended, and his sister Bianca died of a fentanyl overdose. He moved back to El Paso to lay Bianca to rest, and help care for her young daughter, Aria and his mother, who was still dealing with addiction.

"This moment sort of sparked a big shift in my life, something that needed to change.  it was the therapy that I received before i moved here that finally set me up - finally finding the right therapy specifically!  Attachment therapy  dialectical behavior therapy, where they map your mind and you have to do homework. That changed my whole life," Grizz says.

This month is a celebration for Grizz and his mom, who is celebrating her one year mark of sobriety. He says the family has been living a much better life together.

He's proud of his mom, and proud of himself. Working with the tools he's learned to regulate his mood and navigate his emotions, he is making progress. But some days are still a struggle. If you are going through difficult times, Grizz has this to say:

"Don't give up. At some point you're gonna get past this.  If you try.  you will."

Together, he and co-host Iris Lopez, who is also a vocal champion for mental health, are spreading a message of hope throughout the borderland.

"We have like a brother sister relationship," Iris says. "If one of us is having a bad day, the other will just sit and listen and not judge."

Grizz hopes that by sharing his struggles and the fact that he has found a way to move forward, his message will urge someone else to take healing steps.

If you ever have suicidal thoughts or need someone to talk to, call 9-8-8.