Letter written by father of Fort Bliss soldier who overdosed on opioids

The addiction to prescription pain meds destroyed Kyle.

He became a person, on many occasions, I did not know or recognize.

The mood swings were swift and often filled with rage and anger.

He was rarely violent, he would bump chests and a couple of times we pushed each other.

I always knew the anger and acting out was as a result of the pain and turmoil he was experiencing.

The mental health issues combined with the physical injuries and loss of hope for the future.

I think it is important to let the families of other soldiers that die as a result of the pain, confusion, and conflict they are experiencing as a result of their service to their country, the PTSD, TBI, and other physical, emotional, and mental injuries that there is hope.

The service member can, once again love themselves, allow others to love them, and to a large extent return to a life that is very close to what one may consider normal.

I think it is important to let the families know that they are not at fault for what has happened that at some point even the most loving of family members must at some point protect and preserve their own sanity.

At some point disengaging, removing themselves and/or the addicted family member in order to live some sort of life that is at the very least minimally satisfying is not a bad thing.

The non-addicted family member, as much as they want to help, to a certain degree must step back and allow the addicted/troubled family member to experience the consequences of their own decisions.

I know this sounds harsh and I know we have talked about it before but it is worth, in my mind, repeating.

My wife and I, for our own sanity, had to with love and care, step away from our son and allow him to experience the consequences of his actions.

Unfortunately the consequences of his decisions and actions resulted in his death.

We struggle with this decision all the time.

Could we have done more, did we abandon our son to die?

For the most part I believe in my heart that we did everything we could for him, we loved, cared for, bailed out, supported, counseled and advised him the best we possibly could.

He knew, even with his last dying breath, that we loved him unconditionally and we know that he loved us.

We mourn the absence and loss of my son, we do not carry regret. We did all we could.

The loss and absence of such an amazing, talented, loving, caring, thoughtful man, son, is often more than we can bear.

My wife and I cry every day, we mourn his absence every day.

I think families and loved ones of the fallen, like Kyle, need to understand their role and responsibility in their death.

Their responsibility is to love them unconditionally, to offer them help constantly and to be there for them to help them take advantage of that help in whatever form that may take.

Their role is to model and demonstrate their love and concern, positive and supportive unconditional care, when the afflicted decide to get help they will be there to make sure everything that can be done for them is done, to daily tell them that they love them and want them to get the help that will hopefully end up saving their lives.

Tell them that a life of happiness, achievement, and contentment is possible.

They forgive and can forget the transgressions, the bad behavior, criminal activities, money problems, sleepless nights, worry and fret.”

Sincerely,

Fred Evans