Olivia Violet: My Little Angel
By ABC-7 Anchor/Reporter Ashlie Hardway
When I saw the two pink lines, my heart stopped; was I ready for this? Could I afford a child? A million thoughts ran through my mind. The next 9 months went by so quickly; doctor’s visits, frequent trips to Babies R Us, and obsessing over every piece of prenatal information available. At around 20 weeks, I found out I was having a little girl, and all of my worries went away. I was carrying a little angel who I hope would become my best friend. I started dreaming of pink bedding, pink clothing and pink teddies! I imagined what she would look like – would she be blond and blue-eyed like me, or dark-haired and brown-eyed like her Sicilian Daddy?
At around 30 weeks, we had a 4D ultrasound and I saw her little face! Unlike Mommy, she was camera-shy, constantly putting her hands in front of her face. While we only got to see her face for a few seconds, I was in love.
She was the best little baby to carry. I never got sick – not once! I had a little heartburn (which made my love for spicy salsa really uncomfortable) and some nosebleeds (weird, I know). Other than that, my pregnancy was a breeze. I thought for sure that it would be a compromise and that my labor and delivery would be a nightmare. I was wrong! I went to the hospital on January 24th at 11:00 a.m. for an induction. The nurses couldn’t get a hold of my doctor to get her orders for me, so until 1:30 my husband and I talked, walked around and anxiously awaited our little girl. Then, the nurse told me I had started contracting on my own! Continuing to be the little miracle she is, Olivia decided she was coming out that day anyway.
At around 1:30, they put me on Pitocin to make my contractions come stronger in hopes of speeding-up labor. At 5:00 while watching my colleagues on my favorite show, the nurse broke my water. It wouldn’t be long now! But that’s when things got really tough! I read three baby books and attended classes at Providence, so I thought I would be well-prepared for labor pains. I was really, really wrong! They came every other minute. For 60 seconds I would be in sheer agony, I’d get a 60 second break that felt more like 5 seconds, and then another contraction would come. My husband was really supportive, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I really wanted an all-natural birth, but I just couldn’t handle it. I apologized to Nick (his mom delivered 4 babies with no drugs!) and he was totally fine with it; he just wanted me to be comfortable. Realizing there was no prize or marching band for a painful birth, I allowed a nurse to give me the epidural at around 7:30. From then on, it was smooth sailing.
Around 9:00 p.m., Nick went home to let our three dogs out and grab us some dinner (I was starved but had to wait until after delivery to eat). Around 9:45, I called to tell him to hurry because I was ready to start pushing! She was almost here!
My doctor arrived at 10:20, and I started pushing right when my newsteam was wishing me luck around 10:30. Hearing them cheer me and Olivia on really motivated me. Even though the epidural helped with the contractions, delivery was a different story. It hurt – even though my smart little girl had already moved down far on her own. Towards the end, I saw my doctor grab a vacuum to help get her out. I grew determined to push even harder so Olivia wouldn’t have to go through that. It worked! With the staff and my wonderful Nick rooting for me, I gave it my all and she arrived! I will never forget as long as I lived how it felt to feel my daughter enter the world. It was the strangest, most beautiful feeling in the whole world.
At first I was surprised how little she looked like me – she truly is a Daddy’s girl. However, upon further evaluation, I determined she does look like her Mama. She has big, beautiful blue eyes, my face shape and my chin. She is the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen.
From that very moment on, I was no longer the 23-year-old woman who told stupid jokes and challenged anyone to a wing-eating contest; I was a mother. I can’t think of a better responsibility.
The Ashlie who used to hit her alarm clock for an hour after it went off is gone; I now can’t wait to get 5 hours of sleeping over with so I can wake up and hold my angel. I get lost for hours just holding her and staring at her pretty little face. I wish I could stop time and just live in these days forever; days when my husband is home and we can be the Three Musketeers.
She truly is the best baby I have ever seen, and I’m not saying that just because she’s my baby. She sleeps and sleeps forever! I honestly wish she were awake more so I could see her pretty blue eyes. I wake her often for feedings, but she goes right back to sleep. She sleeps throughout the night and never stirs, so I have to set alarms to wake and feed her. She doesn’t even cry when she needs her diapers changed, so Mommy is constantly staying on top of things.
Every aspect of her life so far has been but a dream. I almost feel like she truly is an angel from God and not a human baby. No one could believe how smoothly my pregnancy went – I was working all the way up until the Monday before she was born! Labor and delivery was a breeze, and her first few days on Earth have been wonderful. I don’t even mind if she screams or cries or eats every 30 minutes; everything she does makes my heart explode with love. I know it’s a cliché, but I can’t imagine a better life. Nothing else matters. Trivial things I used to enjoy seem so silly now. I am just so thankful God gave me this beautiful opportunity. Now I want 3 more kids!
I vowed to her to always keep her safe, happy and warm. I promise to protect her and love her no matter how trying things may get. I promise to be her mother, her best friend and her teacher. I promise to listen, to respect and guide her. I will always keep her eyes dry and her smiles wide. She is the center of her universe, and I am her mother.
