VIEWPOINT: Being Away From Spouse Never Easy, But Does Get Easier

by ABC-7 Executive Producer Kristine Rivers

Well, it’s been more than a month since our soldiers left for Iraq. Another group of Fort Bliss families are just beginning their journey. Hundreds of soldiers left last weekend, headed to war; later this year, hundreds more will head overseas. Those first few weeks are tough, so my heart goes out to those left at home. Being away from a spouse or parent never gets easy, but it does get easier.

After a few bad days in a row, I called up my family and pulled the deployment card. I said I want visitors and I was happy they obliged. We had a blast enjoying what the borderland has to offer. We had great meals in El Paso, helped out the economy in Mesilla and went for a hike at Hueco Tanks. It was a great weekend.

After I dropped my family off at the airport, I was getting ready to throw myself a pity party, but instead of crying, I decided to do something that would make me smile. I bought a new laptop. Nothing top of the line, just enough to handle a web cam. Before Chris left, we got him a new laptop that came with a web cam, hoping we would be able to see each other when we talked. We didn’t want to spend the dough for two new ones at the same time, so we just bought a web cam for my old laptop (it was made circa 1980, okay not that bad, but it sure seemed like it). Needless to say, my laptop was not compatible with the new web cam. Despite no visual connection, my husband and I still spoke as often as we could. I wasn’t able to see his face, but I could hear his voice.

My husband and I always say to each other, “I love your face.” It’s certainly not because we think we are super attractive, because we aren’t. It is just a term of endearment for us. I hated that I couldn’t see his face and say that to him, so I bit the bullet and bought the computer. I was so excited when I got home. I instantly started setting it up and attached the web cam. I was ready to see my husband!

I am not going to lie, I was a little nervous. I hadn’t seen him for over a month. He has certainly seen me at my worst, so I don’t know why, but I put on makeup and brushed my hair at 9:00 pm, just before he usually calls. I know, pretty ridiculous.

I was so excited when my phone rang. I told him I got the laptop and the web cam was hooked up. He quickly called me back over the computer and we could see each other! I wore a Celtics shirt for him, because that’s his favorite basketball team. It was so exciting. His picture was not clear at all. It was delayed and boxy and there was no detail. It certainly was not high definition, but it was the best I’ve ever seen him look! I miss seeing his face so much. Being able to see it now, really helps!

I am not suggesting every spouse go out and buy a new laptop or ask their family to fly across the country for a visit, but do what you can to make the deployment go by a little faster. Write him or her a letter everyday, or ask your spouse to email you some pictures; anything to make their absence a little easier.