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Meet your Girl Scout Cookie match

Andrew Cuomo

Girl Scout Cookie Weekend is here, which means the country’s youngest entrepreneurs will come out in droves to peddle their cookies, and you’re obligated to buy some.

But there are 12 cookies and just one you. Feel stumped on which box to buy? Get to know the cookies a bit better with their dating — er, flavor profiles — before you commit.

Thin Mint

The Audrey Hepburn of cookies: Classic, delicate and thin.

Best enjoyed: Dipped in a frothy latte and nibbled slowly.

Eat if: You’re craving chocolate and a breath mint.

Celebrity endorsement: Jennifer Garner loves me!

Fun fact: I’m old school. Like, “I was invented in the 1950s” old school. And I’m still the reigning supreme.

Song that describes me: “Popular” from the musical “Wicked” — for obvious reasons!


I am opulence. I am drama. I am rich, decadent ribbons of peanut butter enveloped in chocolate. Look no further — I am the cookie you’ve been craving.

AKA: Peanut Butter Patty (my stage name, if you will)

Eat if: You’re feelin’ a sweet-and-salty combo. Also, LUXURY.

Favorite quote: “I am large, I contain multitudes” — Walt Whitman. Did he write this about multitudes of peanut butter?

Favorite pastime: Luxuriating and tea spilling.

Biggest flaw: I’m not as widely beloved as Thin Mint, though I am objectively better. But that’s at no fault of my own, now, is it?

If you like me, you’ll like: Do-si-dos (aka Peanut Butter Sandwich) — except they’re chocolate-free, unfortunately. Guess you’ll have to choose me!


I’m peppy, I’m tart and I’ve got tons of positive affirmations up my sleeve — my cookie sleeve, that is! HA! If you can’t tell, I operate at a constant 10.

Likes: Girl power, lemonade, Beyonce’s “Lemonade”

Dislikes: When young women don’t know their worth 🙁

Favorite quote: “You are a beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful muskox.” — Leslie Knope. And me, to everyone I meet.

Role model: Eleanor Roosevelt, Malala, Maya Angelou — oh, you asked for just one?

If you like me, you’ll like: Lemonades! We’re basically the same cookie — they just don’t have the positive affirmations. But maybe you like your lemon cookies affirmation-free, and I affirm that, too!


Humble to a fault. A hidden gem. Your secret favorite. Adventurous. If you like me, you have elevated taste.

AKA: Caramel deLites

Celebrity endorsement: Justin Timberlake!

One day I will: Convince skeptics that the coalition of coconut, caramel and chocolate is king.

Biggest lie I’ve told myself: I’m sort of healthy. Right? Anyone?

Favorite song: “Dark Horse” by Katy Perry. Story of my LIFE in the Girl Scout Cookie hierarchy.


An old soul. I’m your grandmother’s favorite for a reason.

AKA: Shortbread

Likes: Sitting on the floor and listening to our elders tell stories about the good ol’ days.

Dislikes: Chocolate, blegh!

My superhero name would be: Plain Jane.

I identify with: Ringo Starr. People underestimate me, but I’m an OG!

If you like me, you’ll like: Thanks-A-Lots. Ever snack on shortbread but wish there were chocolate? Personally, I think I’m fine without it, but these exist if you absolutely demand a cocoa component.

Girl Scout S’mores

Fraternal twins and frenemies. Yes, one of us is covered in chocolate and the other is not. Everyone prefers one or the other but never both. We are wildly divisive and proud of it.

Likes: We disagree on everything. We do like being contrarians, though.

Dislikes: Campfires, surprisingly.

Eat if: You love pillowy marshmallow but hate going outside.

Favorite pastime: Glamping (glam camping, natch)

Celebrity idols: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. Or maybe the Winklevoss twins. Or the Property Brothers?


Ever wondered what those hard candies your grandmother kept in a bowl for years taste like? You’ve got your answer.

Likes: Crumbs — lots of them.

Dislikes: Gluten! Get it outta here.

Eat if: You like a cookie so tough it could chip a tooth — you live on the edge!

Biggest goal: To make it in the Girl Scout Cookie Hall of Fame — and avoid retirement.

If you like me, you’ll like: Caramel Chocolate Chip. We’re both versions of more boring cookies that the other flavors outshine. At least we’re both gluten-free.

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